Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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