if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
