finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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