I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
