I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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