No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
