This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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