respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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