I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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