That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
