I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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