Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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