New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
