oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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