yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize