are you so shy because you have an std?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
