This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
