that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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