Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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