All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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