haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
