Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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