I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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