I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
