my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ketchup is God's man juice
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
