New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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