I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
