omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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