You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
