I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
