and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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