I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
