Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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