from now on my penis is your penis
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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