I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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