The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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