Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
