just come out here and I will go home with you...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
