dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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