ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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