Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize