Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
