new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
