He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
