I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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