Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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