your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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