so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
