if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize