Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
