I'm jealous of your bromance
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
