Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
