It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
