Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
