I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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