i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize