He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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