He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
