I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
17 year olds will be the death of me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
