I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
