margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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