It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize