i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
