You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
